I belong to you

In my life, I haven’t always had a steady group of friends, nor has there been a pattern in the friends I make. In some places there have been many, and in others, well there have been a chosen one or two. It’s hard to figure out whether I am a social butterfly or a shy and private person. When I was away from home, I looked for the kind of friends who could replace it. Being a TCK didn’t make it easy. Since I turned 18 and went off to university, I met and befriended many different kinds of people. It took me ahwile to figure out who I was, what I was looking for and why I sometimes felt like there was no one in that huge city we call London. Reading the book ‘Third Culture Kids’ by Pollock and Van Reken was like reading something about myself that I already knew but hadn’t been able to put into words. I also enjoyed reading about my Myers-Briggs personality type. It made me feel found. I did finally find friends that felt like home when I was there. It took awhile but I did. And when I did, I thought that was it; that even though we hadn’t lived the same lives we were connected now.

When I moved back home, I thought that it was temporary. After all, I had already found another home. Not that the location was ideal but home is where the heart is, right? I must have let go of that sense of temporariness though, because I did try to give a 100% regardless of where I was or for however long. Maybe it had occurred to me earlier than Friday night or maybe it hadn’t, but when I broke into a silly dance to ‘Billie Jean’ with these ‘new’ friends of mine, I realised that life was great with them. Although I missed my ‘home’ friends from London, and although I didn’t need another home because I was already with my family, I felt a strong sense of attachment to these friends. Strong enough to want to pack them up and take them with me next time I moved. I can’t imagine life without these guys anymore, tied as we are by song, dance, and good times. Knowing that I am leaving again may have made me feel like these are interim friends but there is nothing interim about them anymore. My list of friends and loves only grows and I don’t know how I live with pieces of me all over the world.

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4 thoughts on “I belong to you

  1. I’ve been having very similar thoughts as of late. I recently met up with some of my closest “interim” friends from before and it just made me want to move to where they were.

    But…watcha gonna do.

  2. sharbet says:

    Hmmm, I feel like it’s the season as well. For some reason I feel like the end of the year is actually ending something other than just 2009. Weird huh? Although quite a few of the people with whom I work are temporary so they will be moving on soon. Sniff.

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