I have read a few very interesting blog posts on the countdown to weddings. Most of them have seemed quite happy and content. I guess I have to relate my own experience as best as I can. As content as I could be, I am actually very bored with life and possibly despressed. There is not much excitement to the list of mundane tasks and paper pushing that I have to do and I am very slow in doing so. Wedding talk is confusing and alien, I don’t know squat about jewellery and didn’t know a thing about desi wedding outfits until 2 months ago. I feel more stressed at having to buy these things and at having to think of things such as venue bookings and accomodation for guests. I don’t have a skilled conoisseur around me to guide me in these things or make them more fun. I guess it’s safe to say that I’m no wedding planner. I don’t particularly enjoy weddings either and the only one I really did was a English summer wedding and that’s what I wanted but that isn’t what I’m getting. I’m getting married in October when it’ll be cold and there will be no garlands of flowers and fairylights hung on trees and bushes. What’s more is that I want outside pictures taken in the gardens and the city and I will probably freeze during the photoshoot.
I am also tired of bureaucratic paper work that I have to do to even breathe in this country and the papers on my desk have only been shuffled around. Jobless at the moment, I struggle to get tasks to catch my attention and interest and it’s hard to remember that I had wanted free time in the summer to enjoy. But to do what? Learn Spanish, learn to cook, shop during sales, exercise. And then what? I can’t remember the excitement I used to associate with free time anymore. What I would really like (but cannot afford at the moment) is a beach vacation away from to-do lists where I can stick my head in the sand (figuratively speaking) and a personal assistant who can take care of all my chores while I’m away. That way I can arrive at my wedding relaxed and happy with everything taken care of so I can just enjoy myself. How about that for the ideal wedding?