Considering how badly day 2 went, and considering how I was surprised at how quickly I unraveled alone with my own thoughts, day 3 went remarkably well. I was doing far better in terms of energy and walking ability than I had in a while. I proceeded to avoid the pressing issue of a job hunt and made myself happy by getting myself some blue flowers and baking some coconut muffins.
I got quite carried away with the thought of them. I made a dozen all for myself with no thought of what to do with them later as HD doesn’t eat coconut. I modified the recipe with swiss chocolate and less sugar. I also paid no heed to the gigantic mess I made. Later on, it took me about 3 shifts of cleaning to clear it all up.
Finally, I ended the day with a series of TED talks on the subject of ‘Sex, Secrets and Love’. To be honest, this collection did not have an awful lot of sex or secrets, but all the talks were really good in their own right. The one that hit home was this one connection and vulnerability. Maybe I was on some sort of high that night but it made a lot of sense then and I was lost in the profoundness of it. I felt like that speech looked right at me and asked me why I wasn’t letting myself feel belonging. To be easier on myself, third culture kids do have a harder time with belonging. I remember when this poem by iamwatercolor described me the best. Also this one by her as well:
how stubborn are we
castaways of culture
climbing over the walls
only to peep through the cracks
And here is the TED talk: